Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
