Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
