I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
