I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
