this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
