Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
