3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
