If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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