Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
