he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
