Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
