her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
