ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
