But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
