tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize