i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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