This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
