Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
