He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
