Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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