i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
