woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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