Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
