At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Randomize
