we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
