sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
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I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
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I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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