Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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