but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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