Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
