my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Found your dick twin last night
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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