am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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