I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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