just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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