I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize