Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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