You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
