Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
