I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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