Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
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He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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