how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you traded sex for a burrito?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
