Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
