i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
