i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
