there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
