theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You're a waste of cheezeits
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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