dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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