Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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