it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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