He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
