but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
