So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
