Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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