You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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