Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
A bitchslap is in order.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
