Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my shit smells like andre
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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