Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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