do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Randomize
