so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
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