So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
