My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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