He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
