We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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