I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
